I’ve been there. At the same spot where you’re at right at this moment. I’ve seen it all. I’ve seen the excuses, I’ve felt the sadness and I’ve drowned in the tears. I went through it all.
The feeling of drowning from the tears that aren’t stopping is very familiar for me. You feel like the whole world has left you alone and now you have no one in your life that could understand you and know what you’re going through. But here I am. I’ll be the one who is going to give you the advice you need. I’m giving myself this permission just because the pain of losing someone you love is more than enough to connect us on a higher level.
So, my advice to you is: Leave and be happy.
I guess you’ve heard it more times than not that if someone wants to leave you need to let them go, right? That loving ourselves is more important than loving someone else. Especially if that someone doesn’t want us in their lives. But people, me included, make it sound much easier than it actually is.
Even if they’ve been through the same things you’re going through right now, they will forget how they felt and they will make conclusions based on the liberating feeling they are experiencing right at this moment. So let me tell you why it’s better to love yourself, rather than being stuck in a thought process that has nothing to do with your recovery.
Loving yourself is sacred. Who knows you better than yourself? No one. No one sees the you who is laughing at memes at night when you can’t sleep and no one knows how your laughter feels like to you. People can see you crying. They can wipe off the tears, but no one knows how much your eyes hurt and your heart screams at moments like those. No one but you can know the amount of pain you are experiencing when you’re crying. Only you know yourself enough for that.
Only you know yourself enough to know how sunshine feels on your skin and only you know yourself enough to know that rain always reminds you of him and how he would hug you and kiss you in the rain. Like a scene from a movie. Only you can recall that memory and those feelings.
He doesn’t know how you feel. No matter how many times you tried to show him, tell him, he won’t know how you feel. That’s because he doesn’t feel the same way.
I’m sorry to break it to you like this, but loving him will never make you feel like loving yourself.
He left because he didn’t love and now you’re suffering because you don’t love yourself enough either. I’m not telling you that you shouldn’t cry because of the pain, but you also shouldn’t be crying for so much and so long. You shouldn’t want him back. If he doesn’t see how beautiful you are than let him go. Let him go out of your system and don’t look back at those times.
One day, everything you two went through will be a distant and happy memory. Because you know that he taught you this lesson: Loving yourself is more important.
Don’t deny it. You know that I’m right. There is nothing more liberating than knowing that you are enough for yourself. The whole world could be against you, but you are willing to fight for your own self.
Loving yourself is knowing that someone will love you for who you are one day. They won’t back down when things get a little tough and they will stick around to see you blooming and growing into a more wonderful person—even more wonderful than you are today. So keep on growing.
That one person will come when the time is right. But right now, the time is right for loving yourself. Keep on being the perfection you already are and you will see how your life will change for the better.
Don’t worry. Give yourself time to fall in love with someone else again, but start loving yourself now.