Life is full of compromises, isn’t it?
And if life is full of compromises, the only thing that seems fair is to split those compromises, don’t you think?
Yes, dating is messy, trying to maintain connections in this crazy and fast world takes a lot of energy, and sometimes there are things that are not a priority so you give up on them.
You should give up on things that are not important.
But you have to be careful with what you’re giving up on.
Please don’t ever put yourself in that basket.
Don’t ever put yourself in the non-priority basket.
How you treat yourself sets a precedent for others of how to treat you. They learn from you.
You’re the one showing them what you’re willing to tolerate and what not. Don’t teach them that their choices are much more important than yours.
Don’t teach them that their time is more valuable than yours.
If you respond to their texts immediately and don’t keep them waiting, you should get just as much in return.
Don’t treat their 3 hours later reply as something normal. Don’t be happy they decided to text back at least. No. It’s not enough.
If you reorganize your plans to see them and they cancel on you at the last minute, don’t be all thrilled and happy when they invite you out the next time.
If the pattern is constantly repeated, it’s not okay. Seeing them only on their terms is not okay. No. It’s not enough.
Your plans matter.
Your wishes and desires are as relevant as theirs.
Your job, your ambitions, desires, hobbies are as big and as important as anyone else’s. Don’t let them take that from you.
The only person you ought to keep in your life is you.
The only person you’re supposed to hold on tightly to and not let go of is yourself.
Trust me, you can live without them, but you can’t live without yourself, and you care about yourself the least.
People come and go. Lovers split. Friends choose different paths and get distanced.
Those who swore to stay together forever suddenly change their minds and leave, and as sad as it may sound, it’s okay. It’s life.
It happens like that. You will lose people with time. But please, never lose yourself.
You can’t force people to stay in your life. Staying is a choice, so be thankful for people who choose you.
You must’ve seen people leave a 5-10 year relationship, turn around and get married to someone they’ve known for 6 months, and do all the things their ex always begged them to do. Stop preaching to people. Stop compromising for them.
They hear you. They’re never going to be the people you want them to be because you’re not the one they want in their life.
People change for who they want. As simple as that.
When you have to start compromising yourself or your morals for the people around you, it’s probably time to change the people around you.
You are supposed to love people and compromise but only to the point where you’re not choosing them over yourself, to the point where you’re not compromising your happiness for their presence.
Make a balance between compromising your desires and making yourself a priority. And do this only for people who are willing to do the same for you.
Being in love in this generation is terrifying. Loyalty is so rare, and people are quick to choose a good time over a good thing.
So I’ll make you a deal. Hear me out.
Stop letting them touch you and kiss you and take up your time if they don’t want anything serious.
Stop checking up on them if they’re not checking up on you. Stop rescheduling your life when they can’t fit you in their schedule at all.
Stop making yourself miserable to make them happy. Stop begging for their presence.
Turn the game around. Dedicate all the time you were wasting on people who don’t deserve it to yourself. Build yourself up. Talk nicely to yourself. Take yourself out. Treat yourself. Be your own privilege.
And what will happen?
All those you were ‘begging’ to stay will slowly start disappearing from your life.
Because the only person who was putting in the effort for that relationship will stop and then what’s left?
It will be you, surrounded by a few people, but a few worthy of your time. It will be as if an elephant took one of its feet off of your chest.
There will be plenty of life’s battles to fight, but at least you’ll know who you can count on.