We all want to be something special to our boyfriends. We want them never to lay their eyes on someone else. We want them never to compare us to the girls they have dated before. We want to do that extra special something because we love them and to make sure they won’t leave and hurt us.
There are so many misunderstandings about what it takes to be the perfect girlfriend and it’s not about cooking his favorite food, wearing s*xy clothes, putting on perfect makeup or knowing special tricks in bed (although this one can be useful).
The secret to a perfect relationship, the one that all others will envy you on, is being able to love yourself. Everything starts with you. If you aren’t satisfied with yourself, you’ll always come across problems for which you’re going to blame the other party.
Most of us refuse to see ourselves as a problem and we refuse to try to look for the solution, so we put the responsibility on our partner and hope he will be the one who will solve the trouble in the paradise.
But, things don’t go that way. You can’t expect him to know all the answers. Sometimes, you have to take a look deep inside yourself and try to see what it is that you are doing wrong.
Try to be the best version of yourself because you can’t change the person you are with. You can only hope he will rise to the challenge and try to be his best as you are.
Here are some helpful tips on how to be the most perfect girlfriend you can be:
1. You have to be understanding
You have to respect his feelings and opinions and never judge him. Try to understand him for doing something you don’t like. Maybe he really has a good reason.
If you show that you are not understanding, he won’t trust you and he will never confide in you. You have to show that you tried to walk in his shoes and when he messes up and he will, you have to give him a chance to explain himself and try to look at the problem from his point of view.
And also, this will give you an advantage when one day you make a mistake. You showing him understanding will make him give a second chance, too.
2. You have to say what you want out loud
You have to be direct in your relationship. Most of the women expect their men to just know what they want and what they think. They will never say what they want directly because they think a man should read their minds.
Now, put yourself in that position. Imagine he wants something from you, he gets frustrated because he’s getting nothing and you have no idea that he wanted something in the first place.
Although this is not likely to happen because women have that sixth sense that tells them something is wrong, just try to put yourself in that situation to see how he feels.
He can also get very frustrated because, despite his efforts, he will get the feeling that nothing he does is good enough for you.
If you are mad at him, don’t be passive and wait for him to figure it out. Say it right away and try to solve the problem. Waiting for him to ask what is wrong will only build up tension and anger in both of you and you don’t want that.
3. You have to tell him how you feel
Women are more sensitive than men and that’s perfectly fine. One moment we can be over the moon and the next we sink down because of something he said to us.
He probably doesn’t have a clue that he made you feel like crap, so spill it out to him. If he was insensitive, tell him that he hurt your feelings and share with him how you feel.
He’ll probably be glad you told him, so he doesn’t make the same mistake again. Hiding your feelings because you don’t want to make an inconvenience will ruin your relationship.
4. You have to show him appreciation
Men really ache for the feeling of being appreciated. We give them love and kindness and we love them this way back. But that is not exactly what they want.
It’s nice and it’s thoughtful and it’s the way every woman wants to be loved, but men are different. They want a feeling of acknowledgment for the things they have done for you or in general.
They want to feel appreciated for the role they play and they want to know that we know they know how to do it.
If he takes you somewhere, thank him and appreciate him for taking you and making an effort to do that. It’s not as easy for them as it is easy for us to do these things. This may seem silly to you, but it means a lot to them.
5. You have to give him space
This is yet another proof that men and women are completely different when it comes to handling stressful situations. Women usually hate being alone and they want to be surrounded by the people they love.
They want to talk to their friends about what is causing them stress and usually, that helps. While men, on the other hand, hate being surrounded by people.
They usually retreat into their man cave where they deal with their stuff alone. Women sometimes get this move wrong and they think their men are shutting them off which is not true at all.
If you see him retreating, let him be. Give him space to deal with his problems the best way he can. When he is ready, he will come to you and talk to you.
There is no point in pushing him to talk to you if he doesn’t want to. The only thing you’ll manage to do by forcing him is becoming another source of stress in his life, thus making things only worse.