“One day you will miss me like I missed you.

One day you will search for me like I searched for you.

One day you will cry for me like I cried for you.

And one day…

You will love me…but I won’t love you.”

There are days when I just can’t help myself. I think about you all the time and it is making me sad and depressed. It is like that anxious feeling that doesn’t allow you to breathe.

I am not thinking about anything special but I miss your presence. I miss us.

I should be studying, I should be working I should be out there conquering the world. But no. I am here stuck with the painful memory of you, wondering how you could let me go so easily.

I want to erase you from my body and soul. You made such a huge impact on my life that just can’t be blocked. So many beautiful memories.

Days like this made me remember only the happy moments we had together. Like those bad ones didn’t exist.

But they did.

Guess my kind of love is taking the good with the bad. Your kind of love was just taking the good. You were never there when I needed you.  You weren’t somebody I could rely on.

Why do I keep forgetting that and holding on to that unrealistic perfect picture of you which only exists in my mind?

I tried to block you from my memory. I tried to occupy myself so much that I don’t have time to think about you at all. But when I am alone with my mind, you are the only thought there.

Blocking you wasn’t an option because you are probably one of those people I will always remember.

So instead, I will let it hurt.

I will face my pain and live with it daily, till one day when it stops hurting. I will live my life day by day. Every day I will do something for myself. I will breathe.

Just because it hurts right now it doesn’t mean it won’t stop. Time is a wonderful thing. It will heal me. I will heal me.

I am not waiting for you to realize that you were wrong and that we belong together. I am waiting for me to admit to myself that it was never meant to be.

I will be my own hero and stop expecting you to be one.  

Even though I miss you, and I still love you, I have to be honest with myself. Our relationship was toxic. I put myself second and I should never have done it. I ignored my life and concentrated on making yours better.

I forgot how to love myself. I have to remember how to do that now.

I see my mistakes now and I will make this broken heart whole again. I will let it inspire me and improve me. I am working on “me” now.  I will get stronger. Just by thinking this I already am.

I will be the best version of myself. Make myself whole and happy, so I am able to be even happier with somebody else one day.

And you can look from a distance. Because now I don’t need you anymore.

One day, believe me when I say this:

I won’t miss you anymore.

I won’t love you anymore.

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