She told me that was her greatest fear. She told me that she doesn’t want to date anyone because she doesn’t know whom to trust.
She was heartbroken before, and she went through all the healing stages. It took so much of her time. It took so much of her strength and will to move on, but she made it.
She was scared it would happen all over again.
I couldn’t say anything smart at that time. I couldn’t tell her to leave him just because she’s scared. I couldn’t because he never seemed like someone who would hurt her.
So, I was there for her, and I told her to go for it. I told her that her heartbreak days are behind her, that she has felt enough pain, and now it’s time for better and happier things.
So, she trusted me and she listened. And besides, he swore to her that he would never hurt her. He swore that he wasn’t going to change and that the person who was standing before her was authentic.
He convinced her that there is nothing hidden behind his loving face. He promised her she won’t feel pain ever again.
It was all a lie.
She opened up, and she showed him the way to her heart. She trusted him. She was so happy because she thought that life had finally rewarded her. She thought that was it. She had finally found the man she had been waiting for.
Someone who would take away all of her insecurities. Someone who would take her hand and squeeze it tightly. A man who would protect and cherish her like she was the rarest diamond ever found.
Well, her dreams and her wishes soon turned into dust and vanished into thin air.
It was so painful to watch her try to save what was left of their relationship. It was so painful to watch her make excuses for him and lie to herself that it’s just a phase, and it would go away.
It made me cry every time she knocked on my door in the middle of the night, her face smudged in mascara and her hands shaking like trees in a storm. I couldn’t stand hearing her scream and asking why all of that was happening to her again.
It made my heart break into millions of pieces. It made me angry with myself because I had told her it was okay. I had pushed her into the jaws of an emotional beast. I was also responsible for her pain.
This is how it all went down. This is how it happened slowly, step by step. This is how he tricked her and turned out to be just another guy that didn’t deserve her.
1. He mirrored her
He kept telling her that they were perfect for each other because they were so similar. He was slowly convincing her that she was his soulmate, and they were made for each other.
The thing is, he brainwashed her with these thoughts but he never actually showed her that or acted like he really meant it.
When psychopaths are doing their magic, they are trying to mirror you and do everything exactly like you. In this way, they are trying to convince you that you’re perfect for each other. They don’t have their own identity, so they try to adapt yours.
2. He lost empathy
There was no more compassion in his eyes. He lost interest in helping others or feeling any kind of emotions for everyone else but him.
She first started noticing that when they were around other people. He simply stopped caring what was happening with people they knew. He constantly talked about their relationship even when someone close to them was in trouble. He didn’t want to even comment on it.
He was so cold and ruthless. Soon, it started happening to her, too. He became distant, and he stopped caring about her. God knows how many times he saw her crying and just turned the other way.
She wasn’t that important to him because there was nothing he needed from her.
Psychopaths are brilliant when it comes to faking empathy. They do it only when it suits them and only when they are gaining something out of it.
3. All of his exes were crazy
Whenever they talked about their exes, he was the one who needed comfort. Poor him, all of his girlfriends were crazy like hell. He never had any luck. He opened his heart to them and gave them all he got and all he ever got in return was rejection and craziness.
These were his lines. These were the lies he fed her with. She really felt sorry for him, especially because she went through all of that once. She got played, and she got her heart broken, so she knew how much it hurt.
The only difference is that this actually happened to her.
Psychopaths always put the blame on someone else. They stage the situation so it works in their favor. Their goal is to make everyone around them believe that they are as innocent as puppies.
4. He manipulated her
He could make her do anything he wanted. He was such a good manipulator and actor. He would do it so sneakily that she never noticed.
That was his strongest weapon. He got her to trust him, and the rest was an easy game. Then, he treated her as he pleased. He would guilt trip her into getting what he wants, and he would lie to convince her of things that never happened.
He completely messed her up and played with her mind so that she thought she was the crazy one. She thought nothing she did was okay. The more he manipulated her into thinking she was no good, the more she trusted him because she really thought that she needed guidance and help.
Psychopaths dig deep into your conscience, and they find the thing you’re the most insecure about. Then, they use it to guilt trip you and blackmail you emotionally.
5. He craved power
He always wanted to be the center of the attention. He craved power because he wanted to be accepted. The reason was that deep inside, he was completely unhappy about himself.
Of course, he never showed it. He couldn’t let anyone know how pathetic he really was. So he hid behind the facade of a ruthless bastard which slowly became the main trait of his personality. He became that kind of a man.
He always wanted to be better than her, and he criticized her all the time. When she accomplished something, he would get jealous, and he would minimize her success which made her feel worthless.
Psychopaths are highly insecure, and they have often survived some kind of trauma which turned them into a bad and unhealthy person. They hide it by making others feel less worthy and putting themselves on the top of the pyramid.
6. He made her feel worthless
He would praise her for as long as he had an interest in it, for as long as it gave him something in return, something he needed. Then he loved her more than ever, and nothing was too hard to do if it concerned her.
But after he got what he wanted, he would completely shut her out and make her feel worthless. He didn’t appreciate her, and he didn’t care how she felt. He acted like she was one big nothing, like she was a nobody to him.
Psychopaths send these mixed messages to keep their partners in the dark and confused about their own feelings. People who are lost are the easiest ones to control.
7. He hoovered her back
He would suck her energy dry. He would use all kinds of hoovering tactics to suck her back into the routine he had.
First he would use her to the last f+drop of energy he had and that would keep him satisfied for some time. Then, he would leave her alone and treat her like she didn’t even exist.
But then, he would hoover her back by pretending he was sorry and that he would change. Only because he ran out of energy. He needed more.
Psychopaths use all kinds of manipulating methods and hoovering tactics to get what they want—which they usually do. They are absolute masters of deception, and there is no way to see through their plans—only when they’ve already got what they wanted. But by then, it’s too late.
8. He regretted nothing
He never showed remorse. He never said he was sorry. Even when he did, he didn’t mean it. He only did it because he needed something else from her.
When she got out of the claws of this maniac person, broken-spirited and without any will to live, he moved on like nothing happened. He lied to others that she was crazy. He talked behind her back.
She couldn’t get rid of him and the memory of him because he was always present in her life in one way or another.
While there is another painful and hard-healing process before her, there is another victim before him. A woman just like her who maybe once got her heart broken. Who is maybe scared like she was, but she’ll give him a chance. She’ll risk getting hurt because she still believes in true love.
Just like my friend did.
And he will destroy her.
Just like he destroyed my friend.