From the moment we met, we were different from each other. And although I think we both knew that with time those differences would become a problem, I guess that was what attracted us to one another in the first place. But eventually the things that we were both attracted to in each other became the things that bothered us the most in the end.
I was always someone who had no trouble expressing her feelings and verbalizing her emotions. I was never afraid to tell you or anyone else how I felt and most importantly, I didn’t have trouble admitting my emotions to myself nor did I have a problem facing those emotions. I always preferred talking things through and I always wanted to resolve one problem at a time. One might say that I’ve always been an open person and I had no trouble whatsoever opening up to you. Whenever something was bothering me about you, I would tell you that loud and clear and I expected us to be two grown-ups who could overcome every possible problem and issue we encountered.
On the other hand, you behaved in completely the opposite way. One could say that you’ve always been a closed person, someone who kept running away from his feelings. And even if you were ready to face your feelings, you’d decide to keep them to yourself. While I was always sharing with you everything that was going inside of me, you never did the same. Now I see that I actually never knew the real you. I never knew any of your fears, hopes or dreams. I never knew what was bothering you until you’d become passive-aggressive and give me the silent treatment. You would just give me the silent treatment, leaving me to come to all the conclusions by myself. The fact was, you could never open up to me, you could never tell me what was going on inside of your head and you could never tell me where you stood regarding our relationship. I always felt like you didn’t trust me enough and like you didn’t love me enough to show me the real you. And that was the thing that always hurt me the most.
Until you left. And until you did it without saying a word.
Let’s get one thing straight—this wasn’t the first time you had left me. And you got used to me chasing you every time you went. You got used to me sending you multiple texts and calling you, trying to figure out what was wrong and trying to get to the bottom of things. You got used to me begging for you to come back and asking for your forgiveness, even when I hadn’t done anything wrong.
But, this time, something broke inside of me. This time, I saw that I had no strength to chase after you and to call you to come back. So I decided to let you go for the first and last time.
And I know that surprised you more than anything. You had got used to me crying, yelling, arguing with you or begging you not to leave me. And you always knew that I cared for you, as long as I was doing all this. But the only thing you didn’t know how to handle was me being quiet. You got used to me loving you or hating you but I always had some kind of reaction to your behavior toward me. The only thing I never gave you was the silent treatment.
And my silence is the one which will show you my indifference to you. And it will be my best revenge on you.
I assume you still expect me to reach you, to contact you in some way. You couldn’t expect me to stay silent, not even in your wildest dreams. But that is exactly what is happening and what will continue to happen.
Because my silence is more than enough to tell you everything you need to know.
My silence will tell you that I’ve had enough of you mistreating me, of you not putting any effort into our relationship and in you always putting me last. My silence will tell you that I’ve had enough of this quasi-relationship we’ve been stuck in for years.
It will tell you I’m finally done being the one chasing you and being the only one trying to make us work. It will tell you that you’ve gone too far this time.
But most of all, it will tell you that I’m letting you go and that I don’t have any intention of taking you back.