When you love an overthinker, you love someone who is confused all the time. You love someone who can’t turn off their mind, someone who is fighting millions of questions every day. You love someone whose mind is a complete mess.
An overthinker can’t control their thoughts. They can’t store them in drawers inside their mind. They can only try to catch them as they float around in complete and utter disorder.
Their mind is tricking them. One second they are calm and together but as soon as something happens, some kind of a new situation or an unpredictable one, they start overthinking. What if this, what if that, how will I do this or that. They can’t stop asking questions and worrying about the outcome.
They are people who will take one thing at a time. They will process decisions until they are one hundred percent sure they have come to the right one. And after they are done with it, they start overthinking about something else. It’s exhausting to live this way with a question mark hanging above your head all the time.
When you love someone who overthinks, you have to be patient with them. You have to know how to calm them down and avoid making them panic even worse. You have to know how to understand them.
You need to show them that you are by their side whenever they need you.Words mean nothing to them. They are only empty phrases coming out of your mouth. They can only make them overthink even more. Do you really mean what you said? What if you’re just saying that? What about when things get really serious, are you going to do what you said you would?
You need to know how to save them from drowning in a sea of questions when they are facing a difficult situation. You need to know how to shake them and bring them back to reality. You need to know how to show them that there is always a solution to every problem and you are going to solve it together.
You need to be understanding. You have to realize that although you think everything is okay, they think everything is terrible. You need to understand why you’ve been flooded with questions out of nowhere. You need to know that their mood swings are not intentional. You need to know that their fear is true and honest.
They can’t ignore their thoughts. They can’t shut down and autopilot themself through life. They can’t control their mind and just decide to get rid of all the thoughts that are poking around their brain and keeping them awake at night.
You need to show them how much you love them even in the times when they hate themself and lose themself in their mind. You need to show them empathy and make them aware of the fact that you aren’t going anywhere.
You need to show them that you are vulnerable too, that there are some things that scare you, too. You need to show them that they are not alone. You need to let them know that it’s okay to tell you what they are scared of and worried about. You need to keep repeating to them that you love them, even if it’s a hundred times a day. Your every ‘I love you’ makes them calmer and more relaxed. Maybe it doesn’t mean that much to you but it means the world to them.
You have to be honest. You have to tell them how you feel. You have to know how to tell them what is going on inside your heart and mind, because if you don’t they will think about it all the time, bringing their mind to the point of falling apart. You need to always show your feelings and lay them out in the open, never hide them, because they will sense that and obsess themself with why you’re hiding something from them. A zillion scenarios will go around their head, from the worst ones to more bearable ones. But all of them will make them anxious and frightened.
You need to know how to calm them down and chase away their anxiety. You need to know how to show them what a beautiful person they are. You need to know how to point out their qualities and good sides. You need to know how to show them the truth and bring them out of their messy and anxious mind.
You need to know that they question everything, including you. You need to be prepared for all situations. You could be having a nice, calm evening relaxing and all of a sudden they will bomb you with questions that have been going around their mind for some time and just can’t stay in there anymore.
I know, loving an overthinker is so hard. But aren’t all relationships hard? Isn’t love hard? The greater it is, the harder it gets. The more your feelings grow, the more is at stake. An overthinker can drive you crazy. Sometimes you can’t take it anymore but an overthinker will never leave you. They will be loyal and their love is something you’ll have never experienced before.
They know how much you’re doing for them. They know it’s hard to keep someone on the ground. They know it’s almost impossible to get them out of their head and calm them down when all the questions start wandering around inside their mind.
They will love until the end, no matter how strange you are or how many flaws you have. They will love you no matter what you’ve left behind in the past. They will love you because they know they are a handful and your love is so strong that every time you’ve had enough, it gives you a push not to give up on them. Not to give up on you two.