Straight from the start, I have to tell you something. Believe me, it’s better to be single than to be trapped in a loveless or abusive relationship. Every time you miss hearing ‘I miss you’, remember that there are a lot of women out there struggling to get away from their abusers who swore they miss them and love them.
You know why this happens? These men were always abusive. They were always insecure jerks who wanted to dominate because it makes them feel more secure and more powerful. But the thing is, when you’re unhappy and alone, you can fall in love with the toxic idea of loving the idea of someone and miss out on all the signs that that love is not for them.
I know how it feels not to have someone who’ll give you butterflies in your stomach when your phone buzzes and his name pops up on the screen. I know how it feels when there is no one out there to daydream about you and text you he misses you. I know it hurts and it gets you thinking that maybe you’ll never have that special someone in your life. But, that’s not true. That’s why you need to read this.
Everyone has their person.
Don’t get down if it happens that the guy you really liked turned out to be a complete turn-off. Don’t stress if the two of you didn’t click. That’s is because you weren’t supposed to be with each other. Imagine if you forced it and it happened. God knows what would happen. Maybe he is an abusive manipulator. Maybe you would be miserable.
Think of that relationship fail as something that had to happen. Something that saved you from even more and worse pain.
Use this opportunity to go back to dating. Don’t lock yourself in the house to lie in front of the TV choking yourself full of chocolate and ice-cream. Don’t pity yourself and think of yourself as less worthy, incompetent to love. You’re not all that. You’re a beautiful soul who just needs a break, who needs patience because your person is still out there. Waiting for you. Who knows, maybe he feels exactly the same as you?
Your insecurities don’t define you.
So what? Nobody’s perfect. I have a double chin and bigger arms. So what? I don’t give a f**k anymore. It’s who I am. Those flaws are a part of me and no one can rock having and wearing them like I do. Are you still obsessing over the size of your nose or the fact that you’re maybe an overthinker? So what if you are. A man who’ll love you won’t notice those things. He won’t focus on your “flaws” because your other side, the beautiful side of you is so strong it will blind him. It will make him adore and love you for who you are. He won’t try to change you because you were yourself from the moment you met and that “imperfect you” is the love of his life. Just the way you are.
You’re a catch even though you don’t see it yet.
I know that you’re sick of your friends and your family telling you that anyone would be lucky to have you. I know that you think that’s total crap. But look, I don’t know you but I believe that you have that something that no one has. I believe that you’re unique, but you’ve forgotten it. I know that there is a man out there for you who can’t wait to miss you the same as you can’t wait to be missed. I believe that you’re a person who’ll bring him soup when he’s sick and sing his silly lullabies to put him to sleep. You’re the type of person who would sit by his side when he’s watching a game or a TV show that you don’t like as much but would let him watch it anyway because he would do the same thing for you.
There is no time when love is at stake.
It doesn’t matter how old are you and if all your friends are in relationships or married with kids. You’re not them. You’re you and even if your time is not up yet, it doesn’t mean your time won’t come. Love doesn’t know the time. Love doesn’t have limits. You don’t have to fall in love and get married at a certain age. Love is unpredictable in that way. It will strike you when you least expect it. It will strike you when you’ve make plans and decided to fulfill them. Then, love will come and mess all your plans up. Then love will come and make you the happiest person alive.
There is no way you can know what others are thinking.
Do you think you’re unlovable? Do you think you’re going to end up alone and that no one loves you? Well, have you ever had a crush and kept it to yourself? Of course, you did. So how can you know that there isn’t someone out there who is crazy for you, but doesn’t want to admit it?
Bad thoughts won’t get you anywhere.
If you keep thinking that you’re no good and that no one can love you or that you are not worthy of being missed, you won’t get anywhere. You’ll reject love in that way even if it hits you right in the face. If a hot guy hits on you, you won’t be able to see it. You won’t be able to read his signs as signs of attraction.
I know that you’re probably sick of people telling you that you have to love yourself if you want to be loved. I know it’s such a cliché, but it’s true. There is no better way of saying it then it’s already been said. Be confident and satisfied with yourself and your ‘I miss you’ man will find you. Sooner or later.