You always had a knack for saying just the right thing at the wrong time. It’s like you could sense the exact moment in which I was determined to let you go so you could prove me otherwise.
It was almost like you could feel that I was at peace, that I had rationalized everything and admitted to myself that in spite of all the love I felt for you, we were not made for each other.
You would reach out, send a text, call, show up at my front door and just by doing something like that, I would already start to forgive you. I would forget about all the bad.
I knew better, I knew that before I could even start feeling happy and safe by your side that you would leave again. You’d done the same thing so many times that it almost became normal.
It was like we were playing this never-ending game of hide and seek, where I was the loser every time.
I am so tired of it. But for some reason, I am unable to stop myself. I find it so hard to resist you. I always say I will block you from my life, my phone, and my heart.
I always promise myself that I won’t let you mess with my feelings anymore. But every time, I break that promise. Every time, I let you in. Every time, I end up regretting it.
Don’t you know that every time you left, a part of my heart left with you? I am afraid that if we keep this going for much longer there will be nothing but pain and emptiness inside of me.
If you love me like you say you do, help me by letting me go. Stay away. Don’t come back once you leave. Don’t make things harder on me.
If you love me, grant my soul the tranquility it requires.
My emotions are running wild all the time. My mood switches depending on your presence in or absence from my life.
I can’t keep looking at my phone, waiting for a text that might or might not come. I can’t sleep well, not knowing whether you’ll be on your side of the bed or you’ll be God knows where.
I can’t keep my tears from falling every time you say something mean or offensive. I can’t feel loved with all the coldness you are giving me.
If you love me, let me chase my dreams.
I can’t manage to do it like this. All I think about is you. I am always on edge, waiting for the next disaster to strike, every time I feel like we are in a good place.
I am used to bad things happening. I am used to paying a high price for small glimpses of happiness. I am used to everything I should have never gotten used to in the first place.
I have to focus on myself. I owe myself all the love that I am giving you. I owe myself all the attention, efforts and investments. I owe it to myself to see my own worth.
If you love me, let me be happy on my own.
With you, there is always a storm after the calm days. Just when I begin to feel happy with you, you take it all away from me.
Let me know my smile when you are not around. Let me stop fearing the end of us. Let me pull away from those chains keeping me attached to you.
Let me be happy on my own because we are clearly not happy together. If we were, you would never leave my side. If we were, you would never break my heart.