Ever since I can remember, I have believed that somewhere out there existed my other half. The person who is meant to spend his life with me and someone who is destined to be mine. A man who will save me and who will let me save him back. A man who will complete me and who will give me all the things I didn’t even know I was missing. A man who will love me no matter what and who will appreciate my unconditional love. I knew that somewhere out there existed my Mr. Perfect, my Prince Charming. And I didn’t expect him to be flawless—I wanted our love to be perfect and I wished the two of us would be perfectly imperfect for each other. This man would never leave my side and would love me, no matter what. At the same time, he would never question my love for him. And he wouldn’t have any reason to. He’d know I would love him at his worst and at his best, without exception. He’d know that I’d waited for him for my entire life and he’d know how grateful I would be to have him in my life. We would both put the same amount of effort into our relationship and we would both try hard to make it work. I thought this person would be my soulmate and my match made in heaven and I was certain this man would come into my life.
And when I met you, I was sure you were this guy. When we first started seeing each other, you had all these qualities. It wasn’t your looks or your money—it was simply the way you treated me. I didn’t expect you to treat me like a princess but that was how exactly how you made me feel. I felt appreciated, respected, loved and wanted and they were the things I wanted the most.
So I was positive that you were my soulmate, that you were the guy I’d waited so long for. And I was so happy that you finally came into my life that I didn’t see that you were changing with time. I didn’t see that you were only pretending to be this perfect guy until you were sure you got under my skin. And even when I started noticing it, I refused to see the real you. Even when I saw that you were taking me for granted, that your love for me was obviously fading away, I tried to justify you and to make excuses for you. I wanted to believe in our fairy tale so much that I wasn’t ready to allow anything or anyone to destroy this image of you that I had. Even if that someone was you.
And then one day, you left me for another woman. Just like that, you walked away from my life. You walked away from our lives, from everything we had planned and dreamed of together. You walked away as if I meant nothing to you and as if you never loved me. And I guess you never did. I guess you only pretended to be the man you weren’t until you saw that you had me completely, until you were sure I loved you like I had never loved anyone else. That was all you ever wanted from me and once you got it, you were good to go.
When you left, I was devastated. You broke my heart and you shattered all my hopes and dreams. You killed the innocent girl who believed in love and fairy tales and you made me face real life. You made me face pain and disappointment. I saw you as the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and it took me a long time before I realized that this wasn’t going to happen. It took me a long time to pick up the pieces of my broken heart which you left without ever wondering how I was and without ever wondering what you did to me.
But I am not going to talk to you about everything I’ve been through since you left. Because I am better now. Yes, you killed the person I was before you entered my life and for a while, I didn’t like the woman you made me become. But slowly, I am learning to love this new me. Because now, I am stronger than I could ever imagine being. I don’t believe in fairy tales anymore and I know that sometimes love is not enough but you didn’t manage to kill my desire for life and that is the most important thing.
I will only tell you that I forgave you. Not only that but I am thankful for everything you did to me. Because if it wasn’t for you, I would never have become the strong, powerful and independent woman I am now. I would never have realized that not everyone deserves my love and trust. I would never have understood that I don’t need a man to complete me and that I am more than enough by myself. And I would never have realized that I need to respect and love myself before I respect and love someone else. Yes, you were my toughest lesson but I guess I had to mistake a soulmate for a lesson in order to figure some things out.