Moving On. Two Words. At first sight, they don’t mean much and they are not so significant. To anyone who has never struggled with everything they represent, they are worthless letters on a piece of paper.
But we who have struggled with moving on know the significance of that concept. We know that moving on, and I mean really moving on, is one of the hardest things you have to do in life.
When you get your heart broken or when you go through a painful break-up, the first thing that comes to mind is that you don’t know how you will continue living your life without the person you just lost. The pain you feel at the time is devastating and you can literally feel your heart being broken into pieces. You can literally feel your soul cracking and you can feel yourself spiritually dying.
So, in that moment, you don’t think about the future. You live day to day, struggling with all the emotions that still remain inside of you, while the other person is long gone. You try to remember to breathe properly and you try to learn to do everyday activities. You can’t sleep, you can’t walk without this person having your back. You feel like an infant who needs someone to teach them everything.
You focus on the pain that is tearing you apart and you try to find ways to overcome it in the easiest way possible. And when that finally happens, you feel relieved. When one day passes without you thinking you would die without this man by your side, you know you’ve survived.
And yes, you did. You’ve come a long way and you’ve accomplished a lot. And over time, you don’t feel the amount of love you felt for this guy anymore. You see yourself functioning. And you think you are liberated from him for good.
But it doesn’t mean you’ve moved on. Because moving on is something much more.
Moving on is not just about changing your hair color or cutting your hair. It’s not just about buying new clothes and going shopping with your girlfriends.
Moving on is not just deleting your ex from social media and blocking his number and then stalking him from incognito mode. It’s not posting happy pictures of you all around your social media so he sees that you don’t care about him anymore.
Moving on is not looking away whenever you see your ex but secretly hoping for him to call out your name. It’s not hating him and holding grudges.
It’s not having some guy to keep you company and to make your ex jealous. It’s not about not giving an actual chance to anyone just because you compare them to the man who has hurt you.
It’s not about running away from your pain and convincing yourself and everyone around you that you are perfectly OK.
Moving on is a process. It is a final destination and it is a decision.
Moving on is forgiving him for everything he has done to you and for all the pain he has caused you.
Moving on is accepting the apologies you never got.
It’s about accepting that some things are over. And that they were not meant to be, no matter how much you wanted for them to be.
It’s about accepting all that has happened to you as a part of life. It’s about accepting it as a part of your experience and as a lesson you simply had to go through.
It’s about embracing your single life until you are fully ready to let someone new in.
Moving on is about accepting the man who has caused you pain as a part of your past. It’s never about regretting everything you’ve been through with him. Instead, it’s about looking at things from a realistic point of view and noticing your mistakes as well. And it’s learning from those mistakes.
And most of all, moving on is loving and respecting yourself. It’s about realizing that you are enough on your own and that you don’t need anyone who doesn’t know how to appreciate you. It’s about realizing your own worth and not allowing anyone to diminish it.
It’s about starting over with a clean slate. And not doing it because of your ex or because of the people around you. It’s about doing it for yourself.