The other week I was alone in my apartment. I couldn’t focus on anything. My ex-boyfriend was the only thing I could think about. I loved him with all my heart. The love I had for him is simply indescribable. Every time he’d look at me, my stomach would start doing this weird thing, I don’t want to say it was butterflies, but I have no idea how else to describe it. The energy we had in our eyes when we’d look at each other—I could’ve sworn it could move the universe. The way he’d kiss me is something that now hurts me the most. I’m still convinced that no one will ever be able to kiss me like that. He’d look deep into my eyes and put some crooked smile on his pretty face. Then he would lean down to me, put his hand on my right cheek and touch the little part of my lower lip with his thumb. He would stand there for a sweet second simply watching me tremble underneath his touch. And, then he would put his lips on mine. I’ll never get over the taste of his kiss.I wanted him to kiss me like that every day for the rest of our lives.
But, all my dreams shattered in a second. He fell in love with someone else.He proclaimed a great speech after he said he’s leaving me, but to be honest, I didn’t hear a word of it. His opening sentence was that he was in love with another woman. At that moment, I went blind and deaf. My world stopped spinning for a minute, even though in my head, it seemed like a year. I sat there like a frozen sculpture and I couldn’t even shed a tear. The moment I got home, I realized what had happened and up until a short time ago, I couldn’t seem to get my s**t together. I was constantly thinking of him.
I was convinced I’d never find love again. “He was the only man you have ever loved. You are going to stay all alone because no one can fill the void he made in your heart.” These are the things I was telling myself every day. Until a couple of weeks ago…
One day, when I realized I couldn’t focus on my work, I decided to take a walk. The streets were crowded with people and the only thing I noticed were joyful couples. They were happily kissing in the middle of the street and I was feeling nothing but sadness.
I decided to rest for a bit on a bench that faced some store windows across the street. As I was sitting there, something caught my eye. There were these little doors between the windows of two shoe stores. The sign on the window said: “The Tarot will tell you everything you need to know. We’re always open; just ring the bell.” I got up and rang the bell. I don’t know why. I didn’t even think about it. It just felt right. Indeed, I had many questions and wanted to know many things, but I didn’t have a place to look for the answers. Until now.
A young woman with a big smile on her face opened the door. She welcomed me inside her little workspace. It seemed really nice and cozy. She had a lot of different colors on the walls and the carpet on her floor looked like something my grandma would consider pretty and modern.
The woman was very friendly. The minute we sat down, she asked me if my heart is broken. She knew why I came to her. I asked her to tell me if I’m ever going to fall in love again. The answer she gave me really surprised me. First, she asked me to pick some cards. To me, they were just some nice, pretty little pictures, but she somehow saw my future in them. To be honest, I was a bit skeptical while I was picking those cards out, but on the other hand, I had nothing to lose.
I don’t remember the names of any of those cards and I didn’t even bother memorizing them. The only thing I memorized is what she said about my future husband. He’s going to be a tall workaholic who will take great care of me. I couldn’t have imagined all that. I couldn’t have imagined the love she was describing. According to the Tarot, I will be loved again. Since she’s put those images in my mind, I haven’t been able to get rid of them. As I was imagining my future husband, I was starting to feel happy again.
A couple of weeks have passed since this happened. I don’t know how and why but I feel different. I stopped thinking about my ex. Sure, I think of him from time to time, but not on a daily basis like before. I do still love him and I always will. What we had was real and it cannot disappear easily. But, I keep thinking about the future lately. After all this, I can say I now believe that my love is waiting for me. I believe I have my soulmate somewhere in this world and I’ll meet him someday—one perfect day when I completely get over my ex. And, he’ll be okay with waiting for me all this time because he will understand what I’ve been through. I mean, he is my soulmate, after all. He has to understand.
There is someone for everyone in this world and we should never lose hope, not even for a second. The only thing we need to do is to be patient. I don’t know what changed my mind. Was it the Tarot cards? Was it the way that woman talked to me with hope and care in her eyes? Or was it only myself? I don’t know. All I know is that I truly believe in finding my soulmate now.I’ve met love once, and, for sure, will meet it again.