I write so many love letters because I always think that a written letter should forever be in style. It’s just so romantic. But when I come to think of it, I have never written a letter to the only person who has been by my side this whole time and the only person who doesn’t get enough recognition for all their hard work: myself.
So, dear self, let me start by saying I’m sorry. I am so sorry for all those times I have put you through pain and all those times I expected you to get through it unharmed. You were always so strong and no matter how hopeless a situation might have seemed, in the end it all went well because of the way you simply know how to handle situations.
I’m sorry that you had to wait so long for an apology and for forgiveness, I’m sorry that you had to wait so long for your mind to recognize how amazing you are because of all the things you have endured and still managed to get through them! Because of the way you always have my back but I am so critical of you, because of everything—I’m so sorry.
Dear self, thank you. Thank you for sticking up for me. Even when things get out of hand and I lose my inspiration and motivation to keep on going, I always hear a little voice in my head that’s fighting for me, telling me to continue because this is how life will become more beautiful.
Thank you for that time you got me out of trouble. You know, those times, those terrifying times when I was at rock bottom and that’s where I found vodka. Those times were the hardest for me because I felt like I was losing control over my body and brain but you kept me all together.
And also, a huge thank you goes to my body. I have never treated it with kindness. I would either overeat or not eat enough. I would criticize it and I would fall for the first man who thought that it was worth touching, just so I could get a moment of security. That’s why I have so many fingerprints on my body but my body endured it all.
I love my body. I was born in this body and this body helps me experience life at its finest. My dear self, I have forgotten how wonderful my body actually is and always has been. This body of mine made so many things happen, it made so many things possible and for me to be ungrateful is the worst thing I can be.
Dear self. Dear me. I love you. I love you more than words could ever describe. Although I have seemed to be so ungrateful until now, I must say that I was wrong for ever questioning your endurance and your loyalty.
I really was the only person there to lift myself back up from the bottom of everything. I am able to talk to myself about topics never before heard of, because my brain is always full of amazing things that inspire me to wake up every morning and see the new day in all its beauty.
Me? I love myself. I love my curves, I love my loud laugh, I even love it when people keep on telling me that I am ‘too much’ because this way I know that I must be doing something right. I love the way my hair smells in the morning. I don’t know how I haven’t noticed it before.
Dear self, I love you. I love myself now more than ever because I have finally fallen back in love with who I truly am. Nothing that I have gone through has defined me and nothing that I will ever go through will make me stop loving the person I have become.
I am proud of myself. For the first time in years, I am proud of myself and I can truthfully say that there is nothing more liberating than this emotion I am feeling right at this moment, while I’m writing this long-overdue letter to myself.