Admitting to yourself that the person you have strong feelings for doesn’t love you back is devastating and difficult to achieve.
However, what is even harder is trying to figure out how to stop caring about someone you know doesn’t give a damn about you.
Being aware that someone you’d move mountains for you wouldn’t lift a finger for your sake provokes a wide spectrum of emotions in a person.
At first you’re angry, then you can’t help but wonder why you aren’t enough for them to love you back, then you try to fight for their love, until finally, you come to terms with the harsh truth and understand that the only real option you have is to force yourself to stop caring about that person, one way or another.
It doesn’t matter how much time you’ve spent with this person – whether the two of you were ever in a real relationship or they are just someone you love from a safe distance – the bottom line is the same: throwing out someone from your heart and kicking them out of your system is never easy and there’s always pain involved.
However, even though you probably don’t believe it now, there are effective ways to do it.
Just follow this step by step guide and I assure you that you’ll fall out of love with this person sooner than you might think.
1. Accept the reality
It doesn’t matter if you’re trying to unlove a person you had a labelled romantic relationship with or a person who was never truly yours, if you’re wondering how to stop caring about someone, the first step is always to look the truth directly in the eyes and do your best to accept it.
Whatever you had with this person has reached its end and they aren’t coming back, as much as you’d like them to.
So instead of trying to win them back over, instead of wasting your energy on trying to make them love you, save your dignity and force yourself to recognize the signs and accept the fact that they don’t care for you.
Don’t allow yourself to get your hopes up or to settle for some non-existing clues of their feelings – this person doesn’t love you and it’s about time you stop holding a place in your heart for them.
2. Admit your feelings to yourself
If you’re trying to figure out how to stop caring for someone, you’ll have to be ready for a lot of introspection and self-questioning.
First and foremost, admit your feelings to yourself because self-deception will bring you nowhere.
Accept that you care for this person and that your love is unrequited. Accept that you’re suffering and don’t be ashamed of your pain.
If it’s easier, write your emotions down. This way, you’ll visualize them better and you’ll know exactly what you’re fighting against.
3. But don’t let them overwhelm you
Nevertheless, this doesn’t mean that you should allow your pain to define you or to take you over completely.
Yes, you’ve been going through a rough patch for some time now, but you’re much more than just a heartbroken person.
Don’t allow yourself to sink in the pain completely and for everything you’re going through to be the only thing on your mind.
Don’t let this negativity suck the life out of you and your heartbreak to turn you into a completely different person.
The truth is that you’re hurt, but that doesn’t mean that you should let those negative emotions to block you from feeling happy from time to time.
Cherish those rare moments of happiness and try hard to make them be the ones that consume the most of you.
4.Remember this is all part of life
As harsh as it may sound, heartbreaks are a part of life and something we’ve all been through at some point.
After all, this is not the first time you’re feeling this way and, I assure you, it won’t be the last either.
The person you love has the right not to love you back and you can’t make them feel any differently.
At the same time, you don’t have the right to be angry at someone for not giving you the emotions you expect to get from them.
Even though everything you’re going through right now might seem like the end of the world, the truth is that you will survive.
You will make it out of this alive and you’ll become stronger than ever.
5.Stop romanticizing the past
When we end a relationship, most of us have the habit of idealizing the person we still have feelings for and the time we’ve spent beside them.
All of a sudden, our ex’s flaws seem to disappear.
We start remembering them as our perfect match and seeing our relationship as way better than it actually was.
Well, if you’re wondering how to stop caring about someone, one of the first things you’ll have to do is stop romanticizing the past.
This doesn’t mean that you should talk trash about your ex partner whenever you have the chance to, that you should spit on your entire relationship, or that you should force yourself to hate them, but you need to be realistic about everything that went on.
Things between the two of you ended for a reason and every time you think about getting back with your ex, think of that reason instead of all the beautiful memories you shared, because that is what will bring you back to reality every time you think of reaching out to them or asking for another chance.
Instead of keeping your head up in the clouds, think about all the times this person showed their indifference toward you and all the times you’ve tried winning their love without much success.
This way, you’ll avoid nostalgia and you’ll keep yourself firmly on the ground at all times.
6. Cut all ties
You know how they say, “Out of sight, out of mind,” right?
Well, the next and maybe the most important step you need to take in this process of forgetting someone you love is breaking all possible ties with them.
It’s not that you should use the no contact rule to get your ex to come back to you or for them to understand how much you mean to them.
You need to cut them out of your life to make things easier for yourself.
This means that you must stop every possible communication with the person you’re trying to get over.
Block their social media accounts and their phone number, stop stalking them, stop asking your mutual friends about them, and stop showing up at places you know you might encounter them.
All of this may sound too drastic or even rude, but trust me, it is the only thing that helps and something you have to do if you really want to save yourself.
After all, how do you expect to fall out of love with someone you’re in constant touch with?
If you feel guilty for treating this way the person who didn’t do you any harm except not love you back, there is no shame in explaining to them how things are.
Just politely ask them not to be a part of your life anymore because you’re trying to forget about them and their presence is hurting you.
If they have a good heart, they’ll understand you and disappear for good.
7. Get rid of all memories
Cutting all ties goes hand in hand with getting rid of everything that reminds you of the person you’re trying to get over.
The truth is that when you grow older, you’ll probably want to have a small something connected with someone you used to love, but at this point, you’re looking at your old photos together, and your room is filled with their stuff.
That is exactly why you have to move away from all of these material things the same way you have to move away from the person who is hurting you.
It’s time for you to stop listening to “your song” and stop going to the places that the two of you used to visit together.
8. Avoid thinking about what should and could have been
One of the biggest mistakes most people who’re trying to get over someone do is allowing all the “could’ve beens” and “should’ve beens” to consume them completely.
This especially happens when you’re trying to move on from an almost relationship that never became real.
You can’t help but wonder what would have happened between you and your almost ex if they just had given you the chance.
How would things have turned out if they at least tried to love you back?
Well, if you’re wondering how to stop caring for someone, these thoughts have to leave your mind as soon as possible.
Accept that things turned out the way they did for a reason and you can’t change the past, so what’s the point in cracking your brains open about it?
9. Make some changes in your life
You know how some girls cut or dye their hair and how guys hit the gym in the post-breakup period? Well, it happens for a reason.
When you’re trying to figure out how to stop caring about someone, one of the crucial steps you simply have to follow is to make some important changes in your life.
It doesn’t matter if you change your hairstyle, buy some new clothes, or change your surroundings and environment – the bottom line is the same.
Each of these things will give you an illusion of a fresh start and it will help you move away from everything connected with the person who broke your heart.
Besides, introducing new habits and people to your life will be quite beneficial for your mental health, and it is one of the quickest ways for you to improve your confidence and make yourself feel better.
10. Keep yourself busy
Another important thing to do when you’re learning how to stop caring about someone is making sure your schedule is as tight as possible.
Sometimes, boredom and too much free time gives us a chance to think more, and consequently, suffer more.
It doesn’t mean that burying yourself in work is the only way to keep yourself busy.
This can also be an opportunity for you to do all the things you’ve always wanted to do – binge watch your favorite series, to go to the movies, listen to relaxing music, or just nap whenever you feel like it.
What is important is to do the things that fulfill you and make you happy.
Do your best to stay away from any extra stress because you already have enough on your mind.
11. But give yourself time to grieve
Nevertheless, keeping yourself busy can’t be an excuse to bury your emotions under the carpet.
Instead of allowing your pain to be the only thing you focus on, determine a certain amount of time in every day that is reserved for grieving.
During this time, cry, scream, and do whatever feels good.
However, when this amount of time is over, go back to your obligations and back to living your life.
Another important thing is not to push yourself too hard.
Even though this grieving has to come to an end and even though you can’t allow for it to go on forever, remember that we all heal at a different pace.
Instead of focusing on the length of your emotional recovery, focus on its quality and on making it as successful as possible.
12. Put yourself back in the dating pool
When you ask others how to stop caring for someone, most people will advise you to find a rebound relationship as quick as possible because filling the emptiness in your heart with someone new is the best way to fix it.
Nevertheless, carrying a lot of emotional baggage and holding on to your past isn’t how healthy relationships are formed.
However, what you should do is keep your options open.
Just because one person from your past didn’t give you the love you needed, doesn’t mean everyone else will be the same.
The best thing for you is to get back in the dating pool without any expectations.
I’m not saying jump from one person to the next – just give yourself a chance to meet someone new without being burdened with the outcome.
This way, you can still enjoy the benefits of your single life while you keep yourself entertained and busy.
Just be careful not to chase away someone you like due to your past traumas.
13. Spend time with friends
The best medicine for broken hearts is being near the people we love and who love us back, no matter what.
Near the people you can be your true self next to, without any false pretenses;those who won’t use your vulnerabilities against you.
That is exactly why you should spend as much time with your friends as possible if you’re trying to learn how to stop caring about someone.
Your friends are there to hear you out, help you overcome this crisis, and brighten up your days.
Just make sure not to follow everyone’s advice and suggestions blindly because nobody can know exactly what you’re going through.
14. Take it as a lesson
Instead of lamenting over someone who obviously doesn’t care about you and taking this heartbreak as the end of the world, try learning from it.
See it as a test of your strength and inner power, and nothing more than a life challenge you will overcome.
Besides, everything you’re going through can teach you that whoever doesn’t love you, doesn’t deserve you caring for them either.
Your heartbreak will show you who your real friends are and who the ones are that you should cut out.
It will show you what is really important in love and it will make you understand that you can survive even without the one you thought you could never live without.
15. Focus on yourself
If you want to learn how to stop caring about someone, the last but definitely not least important step you need to take is redirecting all of the energy you wasted on this person toward yourself.
Now that you’ve gotten rid of anyone who doesn’t deserve you, it’s time for you to start making yourself happy, without expecting anyone else to do it.
Time to work on improving yourself and on putting yourself first.
Most importantly, now that you’ve stopped loving the wrong person, it’s time to start loving yourself even more.