We all know it. Couples who resist against all odds – even the most terrible – of life. Who cling and manage to stay together when so many others are smashed at the first storm. Professor of Psychology, Dr. George S.Everly has established that strong, resilient relationships have seven characteristics that increase their likelihood of rebounding in the face of adversity.
1. They cultivate active optimism
More than just a belief, a mere hope that things will go well, active optimism is defined by George S.Everly as a commitment – moral – to act so that things go smoothly. In resilient relationships, both partners avoid cynicism, criticism, hurtful comments directed at each other (and against themselves). To this virtuous circle is added the confidence they have in them: they know that together they are stronger.
2. They show honesty
These couples are convinced that honesty and integrity are the best policy. They try to practice it daily. Everyone also accepts to take responsibility and forgive others for their weaknesses and small – or bigger – betrayals, as well as to forgive themselves.
3. They are determined
They have the courage to make decisive decisions (to move, to embark on two projects, to leave everything to go around the world), even if they can be risky and cause anxiety.
4. They are tenacious
Faced with the vagaries of life, setbacks, failures, they fight discouragement with extraordinary perseverance, thanks to strong mutual support. Nevertheless, they also know when to let go to move in another direction.
5. They demonstrate self-control
Always according to George S.Everly, self-control is the ability to control one’s impulses, to avoid behaviors that are destructive to the couple and that hurt love (outbursts, denigration, malice …) and vice versa. , to take care of his couple .
6. They know how to communicate well
A strong relationship is a relationship where both partners are able to communicate well , express their needs and hear each other’s needs. For George S.Everly, most often, the conversations we do not want to have are precisely the ones we need to have.
7. They cooperate
In these couples, a certain serenity reigns. Non-judgment and cooperation are in order. Everyone can express their ideas, feel encouraged to come up with new solutions, think beyond the norm, and know they can count on each other to think twice and put their desires into action.